Sunday May 18th, 2014

Yesterday in Dallin’s Little League game Jason designated himself as the pitcher. The coaches on the other team initiated strike outs for this game. For weeks we had ended innings after a third out as long as the outs came as a force out, fly out or tag out. Since it’s a coach-pitch league you only get five pitches.  Striking out didn’t require all five pitches to be to be strikes and Jason was not looking so good. I shook my head as each pitch bounced on the plate. I thought to myself, “these kids don’t stand a chance with pitches like that.”

Then something miraculous happened. A hit. And another. Soon we batted through the line-up. Bad pitches and all somehow these kids were getting hits. Then I thought: as a father, how many bad pitches I have thrown at my kids. Jason’s not trying to strike them out and neither am I. It’s a miracle that my kids have hit anything with me as their father. I was ready to yank Jason out of there and recommend that I could do a better job. But that’s not life. For some kids it’s the best they’ll get. I was struggling to forgive Jason for each 6 year-old he struck out, but the kids seemed oblivious to the fact that half the pitches were unhittable. They were just happy to have a chance.

My kids don’t stand a chance with me as their father — or do they? Someday Dallin will be facing guys trying to strike him out. If the baseball statistics remain consistent like they have over the last 100 years Dallin will only succeed a quarter of the time (a third if he’s really good). This means he’ll have to overcome failure 75% of the time. What is more impressive, hitting perfect pitches or being able to overcome bad ones? Jason was trying his best, so were the kids. Amidst two good efforts we found success. Sometimes despite our best efforts we still meet failure.

Miracles always begin with our best effort. But an essential ingredient in all miracles is forgiveness. I didn’t want to forgive Jason. I wanted him out. If the kids didn’t forgive him they would have removed themselves and not been able to bat. I noticed I wasn’t having any fun as long as I was shaking my head at each pitch that hit the plate. I knew Jason was feeling worse and worse (he cares a lot). With each at-bat the kids had to forgive previous bad pitches. With each at-bat there was the hope for a hittable pitch. Best efforts freshened by forgiveness culminated in miraculous hits and runs scored.

Unfortunately there were kids (and parents) who could not deal with the disappointment. Each failed swing and bad pitch resulted in feeble knees and low hanging heads. They fell into a state of despair. They stopped trying and as hard as Jason tried the effort wasn’t reciprocated. Other parents went down the path I did: anger, blame, bitterness, vindictiveness, etc. Such routes are broad and convenient and they all lead to self-destruction. The route of forgiveness and determination is narrow and exhausting, but its the only way to real growth. Each hit was a culmination of TWO best efforts to forgive: the batter forgiving his coach and the coaching forgiving himself. Such forgiveness cultivated a belief that a hit was possible. To them a hit wasn’t a miracle, it was an expectation. But to my willful unbelief it was nothing short of a miracle.

What is more impressive, hitting perfect pitches or being able to overcome bad ones?

In our families we will progress, grow and improve as long as best efforts are exerted, forgiveness is administered, and our intent remains pure. As long as we have these elements then each day will end in edification. If we can shift our measure of success from batting average and RBI’s, to overcoming strikeouts and being a great teammate then success at home will not be measured by perfect parenting and angelic children. Rather success at home will be found in the forgiving of bad parenting, patience with disobedience and a united effort to help each other be better.

This is what the Savior meant when he taught, “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” If you’re looking for the way, you’ll find it in forgiveness. 

After the game Jason reported that Dallin had been elected as our team’s Sportsman of the year and he will be awarded at closing ceremonies. My son forgives so easily. He tries so hard. Father needs to be more like son.